Stop Rescuing Others That Can Rescue Themselves

Stop Rescuing Others That Can Rescue Themselves

“Stop Rescuing People Who Are Perfectly Capable of Rescuing Themselves.

Because, how will they know their own strength and power unless they are given the opportunity to learn and grow?”

Assertiveness for Earth Angels Series by Doreen Virtue

It has been awhile since I have felt words so intensely. And they appeared in a place that is usually packed full of political postures, and photos of puppies and family: Facebook.

There it was, staring me in the face. As if I stepped into a boxing ring with no gloves. I read it over and over, each time hitting stop rescuing peoplelower and harder. Why did this provoke me?

After sitting with these words for a few hours, I soon realized that my stomach ached, my head hurt and I could not get warm. I tried to explain these symptoms with the fact that it was 18° F outside and the beginning of flu/cold season and…..every other logical explanation my mind could fathom.

The Universe was offering me an unsolicited opportunity to grow again – yikes!

I surrendered to a self-Reiki session and meditation to explore the teaching. As the mantra of “stop rescuing others that can rescue themselves”, rolled through my mind like a runaway train; it all became clear…

I had spent most of life as the self-appointed superhero that was going to save my family and friends from their own dastardly deeds. With the cape and tights ready at the next ‘emergency’ call; I would save them all.

Exhausted, I would arrive at home each night with a new notch in my belt and another soul saved. If I don’t help them then who will? How could I call myself a friend if I did not answer their silent screams to be fixed? But why won’t they heal according to my plan? How dare they not follow my advice and put my perfect plan into action?

While I have been focused on others; my own closet was full of wounded circumstances hidden behind my cape – piled higher and deeper by the year. Quick, close the door and turn out the light.

Healers are perfect, right?

If we share what we want to receive could this mean that I was begging to be rescued? I think NOT! I am strong, smart, capable, flexible and confident that the Universe supports me in all I do. I certainly do NOT need rescued.

Wow, could my actions, while fueled with good intent; really deny others the opportunity to realize that they too are Strong, Smart, Capable, Flexible and Fully Supported? How could I get so far off track, especially when I make my living facilitating healing for others?

So, from this point forward …

I vow to my friends, family and clients that I will listen, create a space that is safe for you to embark on your own path and then step aside as I watch you soar.

And with all my new found energy; my own karmic closet will be healed, one cape at a time.

A special thank you to Doreen Virtue, for her profound and timely blessing with this simple post on social media.

Blessings for all the very best!

– Beth

  • MBW
    Posted at 08:37h, 22 November Reply

    Great lesson that I can apply in my own life!

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 15:24h, 25 November Reply

      Misty this really hit home for me. The information is all around us, if we just listen 😉

  • Sue
    Posted at 17:28h, 22 November Reply

    We all know these words of wisdom. But by the trait of empathy and working as a healer, Mother, Wife, Woman, Friend etc…. we get sidetracked. God bless you Beth! You’ve got it right!

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 15:14h, 25 November Reply

      Sue – It happens so easily. I am fortunate to be surrounded by great friends and fellow healers that get me back on track. Thank you!

  • Melanie Phillips
    Posted at 13:43h, 24 November Reply

    Listening… I am listening… Thanks for sharing this, Beth. I struggle with this as well. I think my ego also needs to take a step back from all this “do-gooding” and do some good for myself. Heal myslef.. take some of my own good advice 🙂

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 15:13h, 25 November Reply

      Melanie – I understand how challenging it is to discern. You have a very kind nature. Self-care is huge.

  • Cindy
    Posted at 13:28h, 30 November Reply

    Thanks for sharing this, Beth. I’ve been noticing that when I have an impulse to help someone (with Reiki, primarily), my ego immediately jumps in by telling me that this is my chance to be revered for my healing powers…followed by another ego voice that piles on the guilt for needing so much praise and admiration. OR, I feel guilty for not helping as much as I could. If I can get past those voices and actually work with the Reiki energy, what I need to do becomes clearer. Temporarily, at least. 🙂

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 13:35h, 30 November Reply

      Cindy, Thank you for sharing. I think the discovery that we all have the power to heal ourselves is so joyful. The desire to spread the wisdom fuels our soul. It can be a bit tricky to discern ego and keep it in check. Keep up the great work!

  • Jenn Buckwalter
    Posted at 09:45h, 03 December Reply

    Thank you so much, all of you! I have recently been reminded of this, silly because I know all too well that no one could/can rescue me so I cannot rescue anyone else either. But I have found that, in my job in the mental health field, I want to rescue the individuals on my caseload (it’s just wrong to me to call them clients). I have known this for so very long, yet I still need reminders. I feel as though I’m trying to be what everyone else needs me to be (at home and work), and the self care has been thrown aside. Geez, I know better than to neglect myself! Those ego voices?, yes, have those too. They get so loud! I was reminded by a post from DailyOm that the ego voices speak half truths: it’s the still, quiet voice within all of us that speaks the Truth, the real Truth. That quiet voice will not try to be louder than our ego voices or all of the other distractions around us. Think of a crowded room: if you want the person standing next to you to hear what you have to say, you don’t yell over the din, you whisper in the person’s ear. It’s the same with that still, quiet voice. I think of that voice as the Divine within me. It never leads me astray if I just but listen. But those ego voices…yikes! So I’m trying to take care of myself again: mentally, emotionally, physically. I can’t save anyone but myself. As you stated Beth, if I try to rescue anyone, it does not give them their rightful chance to learn from what they are going through, to become their strongest self. I have to understand that they deserve the chance, just as I did, to make mistakes and choices. I can help them focus on their strengths, but it’s ultimately up to them. Denise DeSousa told me awhile back that I cannot be responsible for anyone else, just myself. It took so much off of me, but old patterns crept back. I got reminded yesterday at work, and I am so thankful for the reminder again this morning

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 15:16h, 03 December Reply

      Jenn – Thank you for sharing. Keep up the great self care.

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