Depths of Gratitude for the Death of Friendships

Depths of Gratitude for the Death of Friendships

When I chose to honor my spiritual path and leave the confines of the corporate structure, I knew that my life would change. I anticipated the flexible schedule to build my new business. I expected to discover things that I didn’t know and was willing to women coffeeexpand my knowledge.

However, I never expected that by embarking on my soul’s journey, I would foster the death of some of greatest friendships I ever had.

I thought there would be one or two friends that might fade to the status of acquaintance, but not these friends. In fact, I really did silently beg for the energy vampires in my life to vanish – but not these friends.

We went through so much together.

We shared some of our deepest fears and cheered each other on through all the sorrow and joy that life brought our way. These genuine friendships drifted into the wind; growing colder and more distant each day.

What did I do?

Why didn’t they call anymore?

I invited them to come to my workshops and even offered complementary healing sessions because I wanted to share my new found joy.

Did I say something that offended them? Why in the world would they not want to float in the spiritual river with me? Can’t they see how happy I am? Don’t they know there is room for everyone?

It hurt and I didn’t understand what I did wrong.

Like a scolded child; I sulked in the corner, prayed for forgiveness and pleaded for answers.  Deafening silence is the only answer I received.  So I did what any self-respecting and newly established business owner would do – I went head first into my new venture and energetically said –sucks to be them. Very professional and quiet healing – right 😉

What happened next?

I found myself meeting new people. Dejà vu – one after another it was like attending a 20 year class reunion, they seemed familiar but did we really just meet? Many aha moments and therapeutic hugs were exchanged.

Encouragement and trusted coaching from people I just met, or did we …

Soon I realized that the Universe was making room for different friendships that would offer the shifting support I needed. By releasing the “old” friendships; there was space for this reunion with more spirits from my soul group. If I held on and fought to keep those old friendships alive; there wouldn’t be room for growth.

My teaching moment: When you hold onto what was with both hands; you can’t grasp onto the new.

The gem in the lesson is that I am blessed with amazing friends, old and new.

From the deepest part of my being, I thank all that have walked even one step with me. Whether a few steps or a life time; I am humbled and honored to have you as my teacher. I am grateful that our paths intersected.

Blessings for all the very best!


  • Connie
    Posted at 18:27h, 29 November Reply

    I have had similar thoughts after moving and seemingly being “forgotten”. Like it has been said, “Some people are in your life for a season…”

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 08:24h, 30 November Reply

      Connie – Forgotten is a great way to describe this. I am grateful for all seasons we experience.

  • Theresa Lyons
    Posted at 22:09h, 29 November Reply

    So often we find ourselves paralysed by the fear of losing what is familiar, even if it is time to move on, or even painful. Just knowing that we are capable of spiritual progress or even identifying the path we should take is never enough. We have to actually put one foot in front of the other, take some steps and.make the changes. If nothing changes……NOTHING changes.
    We have no right to expect others to dance to the same beat. No-one can live another’s destiny. To each…..his own.
    His own path at his own pace. Rather…..I bless every soul who has touched my life. I will have faith that whatever the experience, it was just what was needed for both of us. Still, sometimes moving forward has felt more like rejection. I wonder how many more times my ego can recover from humiliation, and my fragile self image can withstand the sting of judgement. But the truth is….. people come and go. The criticism that echoes in my ears long after they fade into the past….is my own voice.
    There was a children’s poem I used to read my kids. It was about a child who sailed away in a little boat. I love the last line….it is such a paradigm..
    ” And when evening comes…
    I wave goodbye
    To all my friends on shore”
    Sometimes friendships just fulfill their purpose and drift away. Sometimes there is a hurtful falling out. Whatever to situation, this much I think is true;
    Beginings are uncertain and full of promise.
    Endings are sad .
    But, what goes on in between the two of them is love…..and definitely worth the risk.
    Love you, Beth!

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 08:21h, 30 November Reply

      Theresa – Thank you for sharing! Change is a wonderful thing, not always comfortable but indeed wonderful.

  • Trish
    Posted at 09:20h, 01 December Reply

    I loved this post, Beth. Very insightful. Namaste 🙂

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 09:30h, 01 December Reply

      Trish – Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. Namaste

  • Jenn Buckwalter
    Posted at 09:46h, 01 December Reply

    Thank you so much Beth and Theresa! I’ve lost a lot of friends also because I now choose to only be around people that don’t tear me down…I do that well enough on my own. But I’m learning, and I have so many people who have been my guides to thank, you all included! Om Shanti Om…peace

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 09:55h, 01 December Reply

      You are very strong and your journey is fully supported by the Universal Flow.

  • Sherry Dershimer
    Posted at 12:25h, 01 December Reply

    Thoughtful words, honest and bravely presented too. For me passage is so much a part of my life. Working, as I do, as an Interior Designer I am often deeply involved in the shared planning of new homes or special spaces. I know going in that it’s a time of closeness and sharing sometimes the most important concerns and feelings of the family are front and center, after all it’s home and what is more vital. My work is my creative life and my salvation is that I am able to put my whole heart and knowledge and skill to work, all of me and then when the work is completed, I move away with the sense of satisfaction that their home is what they hoped and even dreamed and I was able to be the facilitator, the interpreter. I am trusted with the most deeply felt concerns for the life of those who will share the space, little truths surface about lifestyles and sometimes the most remarkable history of family or heirlooms are part of the mix that brings new life, along with the stories of the original owners. Touching these items is often a great honor, a privilege, especially when it may be something brought from a far place, another country, a treasure that was the only item brought to the new family home. I sense from these items, and how they are honored, the love and respect and the energy it took to carry it forward to a new place, turning away perhaps from a true home place, knowing it would be a permanent sojourn. Special and rewarding for the family and for me.

    The energy is real and the experience is shared equally with me, an unexpected blessing that comes with the stories and the value to the family is enhanced. We honor the original owners by acknowledging the history that brought them and their treasures, though modest, still treasured and it tells us so much about what is truly valued by our human spirits, what at heart is meaningful.

    I have two favorite words, the first is Gratitude, I have a silver box engraved with the word given as a gift from my sister when my husband saved her tiny puppy who’d fallen into a pond. She didn’t know that word was my favorite, but when the engraved silver box arrived, it shared with me her sense of appreciation for what it means to be grateful. I’ve always embraced the word and what it means, it’s grace, it’s an attitude of grace, And my dearest lifetime friends name is Grace. It’s a lovely word and I am a grateful woman, there’s always something I can uncover even on a bad day to be grateful for … and I practice that in my life daily, I try.

    The other word is Providence. These are capital words for me, words that guide me when I feel a need for strength, which is daily, words that bind me to the core of my nature and remind me that Gods hand is in all things, God as we each see our creator and we are here to share all things for a while, our loves, our children, our accomplishments and our failures and to learn from them. We don’t get to choose or elect the specifics, it’s the luck of the draw and if we can accept where we are everyday then we may grow with and through the experience with grace.

    I have a pen pal, she’s 90 years old. We write to one another once a month. I save all her letters, she’s a wise and simple woman. She’s raised 4 children, has a number of grand children and is home bound. She’s educated and knowledgeable and sometimes shares her history and perspectives with me. I find her words valuable and meaningful. In a recent note she wrote this to me: I think of you Sherry, and I pray that your life is going well. In September I will be 90 years old. My seedtime is over and the harvest is near. I’m a little jealous to think of the productive years you have left.” These word were a message to me, and once again I found I was grateful in several ways, she’d taken that time to write a handwritten note to me with a message. I was blessed to be captive in the moments I read her words.
    There too I saw the message … ‘be grateful’ I still have time to plan, to know that there may be many harvests, that I have purpose and meaningfulness built into my days.

    This has been one of the hardest years of my life, my mother is soon to be 91, watching her suffer the indignities, she has suffered her second broken hip, surgery and nursing care continue. Her spirit is lively and interesting and she continues to thrive on the knowledge that by the end of the year she will be a great great grandmother. She will see five generations in her lifetime. She’s bound to a wheelchair life, she has no ability to move about but she’s grateful for every day and for the care she has, many days of grace are ahead of her, that’s her plan.

    My days are filled with the desire to visit with friends, acquaintances I’ve met….as with each of you, still I work, I’m a modern woman, as we all are, I manage my home, my mothers care, have an ailing brother who is nearby and really struggling with cancer. My sister is on the West Coast and has a life that is special with a grandchild, so I’m tagged for Mothers care. It’s fine, I’m the one who gets to hear all her stories, her amazing recall of life around the Second World War, the depression and the world before I was born. In between these details, I think how it would be special to meet for a sit and chat, that’s what I’m doing now. Maybe something will be worth the time it’s taken you to read my stream of consciousness thoughts.

    A will share one more guiding verse I keep within my view daily, cut years ago from some publication when it struck a cord in my heart.

    There are some things only we can do for our emotional, physical and spiritual health:
    Eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, pray and meditate on a daily basis. Yet there are
    needs we cannot take care of alone: solving all our problems, comforting ourselves,
    developing intimacy with others, feeling loved and cared for. Those things need to come
    from others.

    I read it nearly every day, or maybe I glance at it and know it now…so I’m reminded..
    That’s what this sharing is all about, getting it and giving it to others. Hope it’s been worth
    the time it took to read it, I didn’t get 4 things done that I did need to do, but I will … now.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 21:57h, 01 December Reply

      Sherry – Thank you for sharing. I am honored to share a few steps together on our journeys. Blessings for continued courage and strength.

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