Forgive and Forget

Forgive and Forget

As defined in…

Forgive – To cease to feel resentment

‘Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.’
Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith

So, you have been wronged by someone.

They did or said something that was unkind, insensitive or even reprehensible. They should come crawling back to you begging Serious BEACHfor your pardon and pleading for your mercy from eternal damnation. At a minimum they should call or write a letter saying how horribly wrong they were. Then maybe, just maybe, you will deem them worthy of your forgiveness – or not.

Sometimes in life, when there is a disagreement, it can be immediately resolved when both parties are willing to be accountable for their part. But often you are permitted to carry the heavy, burdensome energy of unforgiveness until you decide to put it down.

Image for a moment that each time you were “wronged” and did not receive a proper apology; you are adding another rock in your karmic backpack.

Every time someone cuts you off in traffic, you were passed over for a promotion or your child screams “I hate you”, you add another rock to this bag that you carry with you every day. At some point, depending on your strength and endurance; you will no longer be able to move forward.

Forgiveness is NOT about the transgressor.

It is about YOU!

Forgiving does NOT mean that you agree with the situation or that you condone their actions. Forgiveness is the gift that you choose to offer yourself. Each time you are able to release an event or situation; you remove a rock from your bag. Imagine that these rocks are placed before you and they create a pathway for your soul’s journey to move forward. The backpack becomes lighter, as the events carry less weight for you so you can move forward.

Remember that self-forgiveness is crucial to your well-being.

Practice self-compassion each day as you acknowledge that you did the very best you could at the time of the situation.

The unforgiven circumstances are weighing you down. They are slowing your progress and making life more difficult than necessary.

How much control will you allow them to have? One rock at time placed in front of you to build your path.

Next week we will explore the Forget part.

Blessings for all the very best!


  • Trish
    Posted at 08:44h, 06 December Reply

    Eloquently put, Beth. It has taken me years (literally…years!) to put the self compassion part of the equation into practice. Forgiving others was somehow easier. Once I became more adept at forgiving ME for things beyond my knowledge or control, life became that much sweeter. I love your posts, BTW! Be well ☺️

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 08:49h, 06 December Reply

      Trish – Thank you for sharing. The self forgiveness is still the most challenging for me too.

  • jennbuckwalterjbuckwaltersfinc3
    Posted at 10:09h, 06 December Reply

    Wow. I began reading and thought that it is myself that I need to forgive the most…then I got to the part on self forgiveness. Then I read that you both have these issues also. I never feel that I am good enough and so beat myself up…adding rocks to the backpack. I had been doing better with the self forgiveness and self compassion, but I seem to really be going backwards, dangerously so. Thank you for the reminder, thank you both for posting. I needed to hear it today.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 10:15h, 06 December Reply

      Jenn, Every day we get better and better. You are brave and strong.

  • jennbuckwalterjbuckwaltersfinc3
    Posted at 07:37h, 09 December Reply

    I don’t feel brave and strong right now, but I know this thinking is ego thinking. Egoic thinking is only partially true if there is any truth at all. I know you are right Beth, and I thank you for pointing this out. I need to undo this egoic thinking with positive self affirmations, something I lost sight of for awhile now. It’s no coincidence that my horoscope from for today was to do just this. In fact, it talks about how negative thinking holds us back, how failure becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. I had been doing much better, so I can do it again! Yesterday was really difficult, and the only thing I could think to do was to have my fiancé take me to a place where I could hug a tree. How wonderful it was! We walked around and I felt connected and more grounded through the tinglies in my feet to Mother Earth, Gaia. I touched prickly teasil, the soft fluff of milkweed and cat tails that had gone to seed. Wow! I watched the gulls, identified tracks, meditated on a bridge that overlooks some water and awesome plants in the summer. Then I jumped off the bridge and walked the beach area made by the draining of the water. Just writing this is making me feel stronger and more capable…thank you for “listening”!

  • Forgive and Forget (Part 2) | Inspired Holistic Wellness
    Posted at 06:02h, 13 December Reply

    […] In case you missed last week’s post – it was all about forgiveness. You can read it here: Forgive and Forget […]

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