Crippled by Hope

Crippled by Hope

When I was younger I would wish for things. These wishes were often for things like a new bike, a pony for Christmas, even the perfect job or a new house.  The requests were occasionally granted but usually went unfulfilled. I passively waited with great anticipation for my ‘fairy godmother’ to pop in genieLampHeartwith her magic wand.

Where was my Bibidi-bobidi-boo?

At some point, my wishes turned to hope.

The most memorable hope I had was for healing after an auto accident. Feeling helpless, overwhelmed and at yet another ‘rock bottom’; all I could do was hope.

I placed my desire that, at some point at an undetermined period in time; I would be healed. Some days I would find the courage to offer yet another ambiguous hopeful statement like – I hope I have a good day, I hope the doctor finds a cure, I hope this medicine works, and so on. This hope of healing allowed me to remain debilitated and feeling more and more crippled each day.

I was waiting for a knight in shining armor to ride in on his white horse and make everything okay.

As I continued to scout around in this place called ‘rock bottom’, I stumbled upon something called Reiki. This hands-on healing energy helped me explore the cracks and crevasses. I discovered that this is a place where I could have my feet firmly on the ground.  Behind overgrown wishes and clouded by hope, I found a hidden chamber in this pit that contained a package. Carefully wrapped in a ribbon of faith, my power to heal was nestled inside all of those wishes and hope.

I have the power to heal to myself!

I am responsible for healing me! Only I can make the changes needed to be healed. Of course, there are many others along the way to offer assistance, guidance and support – we are not required to do it alone. I could now identify with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz – I had the power all along.

The path to discovering our personal power is not always a paved yellow brick road.

It may require some excavating, exploration and hard work. There may be times that fear creeps in or frustration rolls through. Trust that you have the power to heal and adapt to whatever experiences you encounter. Have faith in the way things are. And if it helps, find a pair of shiny red shoes and click your heels three times when life feels intense.

Blessings for all the best,


  • Kathleen
    Posted at 08:27h, 24 January Reply

    Perfectly timed….thank you!

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 09:03h, 24 January Reply

      Happy to share Kathleen. Thank you.

  • jennbuckwalterjbuckwaltersfinc3
    Posted at 09:04h, 24 January Reply

    Thank you so much Beth. Yes, I know that rock bottom inside and out. It’s like an abyss with slippery slopes, no footholds to be able to climb out of it. It’s gray with a fog-like substance, and slimy. Thank you for pointing out how crippling hope can be. Do you think this kind of hope is as crippling as having no hope at all? I’d really like to know your thoughts on this, as well as anyone else’s. I guess I need to get back to practicing self reiki, it could be a foothold out of the abyss. Thank you for this reminder, I really appreciate it. I really needed it today.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 09:16h, 24 January Reply

      Jenn, the hope kept my faith alive. Hope is always important but my healing experience requiered me to go beyond hope and find my personal power and actively engage my faith. For me, Reiki was the beginning and base for me.

      There are no wrong paths to enlightenment. Embrace where you are and move on from there.

  • angie
    Posted at 13:04h, 24 January Reply

    Love this!!! Familiar in so many ways. Thanks Beth! <3

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 13:06h, 24 January Reply

      Thank you Angie. I am finding more and more that many of us share a similar experience.

  • Norah Philbin
    Posted at 16:21h, 24 January Reply

    Hi Beth,

    Ty for starting the thread.

    Jenn, I have had a couple of major go rounds w/this. Now i am skirting one. I call it running around the edge of the volcano. I keep moving and don’t look down. I am certified in 3 levels of Reiki. Got out of doing it. Maybe time to do again.

    I think I may know u from garden club. Look forward to seeing you there.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 17:21h, 24 January Reply

      Norah, I like your description.

      Let us know how Reiki helps if you decide to become re-acquainted with Reiki as a tool.

  • Theresa Lyons
    Posted at 16:38h, 24 January Reply

    ” rock bottom” is whenever I decide to stop digging the hole deeper. I know, in my case, my body tends to move in the direction I send my soul.
    It takes constant spiritual
    work sometimes. Left to myself I can get off track and sink into the “why me” of despondency and isolation.
    So if I find myself in a hole……I try to look up.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 17:25h, 24 January Reply

      Love the idea of looking up Theresa!

  • jennbuckwalterjbuckwaltersfinc3
    Posted at 04:45h, 27 January Reply

    Thank you all for sharing. Norah and Theresa, I like your descriptions. Norah, maybe you could describe a little of what you are skirting? But only if you are comfortable doing so. Beth, I think you are quite correct that many people deal with these issues.
    So I want to ask a question but am not sure how to ask. I was in a motorcycle accident last August and sustained my 6th TBI in a year. I also badly injured my neck and it is affecting my arm. I haven’t been the same since. Before the accident, I was healing, soaring into the freedom of my true being. Since the accident, I’ve been going badly downhill, somewhat consciously choosing to do so in so many ways. I was still trying to meditate and practice self reiki, but I was doing it less and less as I just didn’t care. I was feeding the lies within me so I could just end it. I almost succeeded a week before Christmas. Before I went unconscious, I remember wondering where my soul would go, and I don’t mean heaven or hell. I saw it drifting in this gray, misty, cold abyss, and wondered if it would know what I had done. The abyss was so misty that I couldn’t see anything. Now it seems like my soul is stuck in this abyss, that it is not fully a part of me. I can actually see it in a way, in this abyss. Does this make any sense? Is this possible? Once in awhile I feel like I am a part of Mother Earth, Gaia, but mostly I feel so disconnected. My work and my fiancé keep me accountable, but sometimes it is just not enough. Can anyone give me your thoughts? Thank you.
    Norah, I look forward to seeing you in garden club. Expect a big hug:)
    Thank you, all of you.

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 12:18h, 27 January Reply

      Having roots and wings requires constant re-balancing. Maintain your current support systems and remain vigilant with it. With great discernment, explore the possibility of including additional techniques. Tap into your yoga and Reiki training – see what may be of help there. The answers are within – no amount of external searching will offer what you are looking for. Allow the support systems you have in place to comfort while you journey within.
      Blessings, Light and Love.


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