27 Jun Disability Benefits – What a pain in the ass!
We’ve all had aches and pains that remind us that our physical body had an extraordinary experience. Maybe it was unloading a truckload of mulch, tending to the garden or paddling a kayak for hours. For others it could be from a fall, out-patient procedure or accident.
Whatever the cause, the physical body is offering you feedback.
The pain is a reminder of the past as it offers you encouragement to balance rest and work or to take extended time to recuperate. It is often easy to associate the activity or event that generated the discomfort; thus making it simpler to understand and move on.
There is an old saying that I have heard and used many times in my life and it goes like this – heed the whispers of the universe.
My interpretation of this is, if I follow my instincts and intuition, the gentle guidance of God and my soul support team will quietly direct me. However, when I tune them out, it requires more intense vibrations to get my attention.
For me, the whispers are things like finding feathers, seeing a hawk in my travels or even that coveted parking spot during a thunderstorm. These whispers are like a symphony of synchronicities that play my spirit’s song.
When the angels “pump up the volume” it can come from any direction and they offer circumstances that are hard to miss (but still possible to write-off as ‘dumb luck’).
My most recent experience like this was a flat tire that brought me to a complete halt. My vehicle has no spare of any size (came with run-flat tires) and I had to wait for a new one to arrive the next afternoon. But, the air was depleted in the parking lot of a trusted repair shop that generously charged me for only the cost of the tire.
A dear friend picked me up and took me home.
My husband offered his vehicle if I took him to work – what nice guy. My dream that night vividly showed me rolling over and over in his jeep on the highway. Over the years I learned that these are messages and that the amplification means I am not listening. So, I rescheduled my day while I waited for the tire to arrive.
I have the best clients – each one was so accommodating and willing to adjust their schedule. I spent an unintentional day at home with my daughter and doing the paperwork I had dodged all week. I had been ignoring the fact that I was energetically as deflated as that tire and needed a rest.
When I don’t heed the whispers or pumped up guidance; I will have an experience that I am NOT able to miss.
These non-mutable moments are not punishment but rather a redirection at the volume I will listen.
One of the loudest redirections I experienced as an adult is an auto accident in 2004. In the long run, it was the impetus to my ‘next phase’ (becoming a healing facilitator). Although my physical hearing is in perfect working order; listening to my higher self and my soul support team is a challenge. Later, I will get to THAT later; can’t you see I am busy right now.
Although the severity of the accident was minor compared to some I have experienced; this time my emotional body could hold no more. My base was immobile – the sacrum, low back, hips and legs could take no more. My body was not going to allow me to move until I addressed these issues at all levels.
Through the healing process, I did what many do – I went from one medical doctor to another.
I knew where all the local testing and procedure facilities were located. All the pharmacists at CVS knew me – no need to say, hello I am here to pick up a prescription for Beth Whitman.
Eventually there were discussions of modifying my body to relieve the pain. I had slipped into the role of victim, all snuggly and warm. If I stayed here long enough, I might be eligible for disability benefits. I might be able to receive money and support because of my condition.
Are there really benefits to this disability? You betcha!
If I continued to accept the pain, I did not have to dig into the emotional coffins I buried in those unmarked graves. I could continue to have this pain in my ass and have limited mobility but the medical folks are nice. I had medical insurance that would cover most of the costs and sometimes I enjoyed the altered state that the pills, injections and patches induced.
The modified domestic responsibilities were also a welcomed reprieve. This worked for a while but I soon I realized that this was not be the way my life should play out.
Like peeling away the layers of an onion, the spiritual awakening began – yes my eyes teared when peeling this onion too. With a long list of medical diagnosis I decided to begin filling out the paperwork for my soul’s contract instead of the government forms. Although the forms seemed like they would be easier.
Please Note – this is NOT about judgments for those that do or do not receive ‘benefits’. This is me sharing my story, not scrutinizing a system or anyone else’s situation.
At first I could only manage to address the physical pain.
I needed my body’s base to be flexible, strong and fully functional. The progress was agonizing – there were many days where I felt worse at the end of the Reiki session than when it started. But something said – keep going. My medical insurance did not cover the costs for this ‘alternative’ treatment. I had to keep working to be able to afford this therapy – it was hard to recognize the benefits of exhuming the emotional bodies.
The depths of my pig-headed inheritance would come in handy as I navigated the grave yard.
Like a spelunker in the cold damp darkness, I began to descend into the cracks and crevasses of my emotional cavern. Reiki was the light that allowed me to explore, at my own pace and my own path.
There are a lot of bones in those caverns, some of which are likely to remain hidden for at least this lifetime. Making my way through the passages of pain was certainly not mapped out for the most direct route, well lit nor comfortable.
I now know that this was my soul support team’s way of guiding me back to my higher purpose.
While the emotional cavern was frightening sometimes; my experience taught me that this is where the true disability lays. Now, when my physical body offers me feedback, I strap on the Reiki head lamp and dig in. There are times when it feels like the excavating equipment will be required; but now that a few of the tunnels are mapped out, not all excursions are overwhelming intense.
The benefits of my disability were that it helped learn to ask for help.
I realized I don’t have to do it all. Self-care is critical to the well-being of everyone. I found strength in those caverns that I did not know was there.
Open coffins are not as frightening as my mind made them; the truly scary part is when they are in a sealed tomb in an unmarked grave.
Digging through the pain was well worth the efforts. There are still days that my back and hips hurt – this is not a magic potion. I must be mindful of the journey and retain the lessons. I still have a very long journey ahead, but I am further than I was when I started.
I have unearthed some of my abilities along the way – what about you?
Are you ready to explore what is behind the cloak of pain? Is now the time to uproot your pain and embrace the flowering garden of your abilities?
Join me July 25th and 26th for a full weekend of Reiki classes as we explore self-care.
I also facilitate a community outreach group for those experiencing chronic pain – Beyond Chronic Pain: An Invitation to Heal. We meet the third Wednesday of each month at 7:15pm in Bellefonte, PA.
Blessings for all the very best!