08 Aug 7 Nasty Habits of A Healer
I recently was provided an opportunity to be still and examine self-healing; which really is the only kind of healing that exists. To put it candidly, The Universe knocked me on my ass and seized the moment to offer yet another hard core lesson – which seems to be my preferred learning style.
Forced to be still and rest because the pain was too intense to move forward; the thin vail of the wee morning hours of a blue moon offered a glimpse into my patterns, choices and habits.
Let me count the ways I sabotage my well-being….
- I can help everyone. I see this interesting phenomenon all around me. It is fueled by loving hearts, that know all too well what it is like be in need of help. Maybe there is a smidge of the do-gooder ego in there but what I have seen is a genuine desire to be of service. However, setting out on a journey to save the world can easily spin out of control. I will focus on helping those that God puts in my path and allow His guidance to provide clear direction of when and how I should help.
- Busy, Busy, Busy. My calendar was filled with not a moment to spare. Driving here, being there, doing this and that. The schedule read like a well-orchestrated military style attack on the week. Everything must go exactly as planned or the wheels will fall off (or in my case, go flat). This one will take a bit of adjusting for my Type A/OCD tendencies to shift. So, I now have scheduled ‘down’ time. On my calendar you will now find nestled among the typical to-do’s, items like read, meditate, breathe deeply and of course self-Reiki and yoga.
- I am great, and you? My quick reply to anyone that would ask how I was doing was always “I am great”. No matter how intense the physical pain or emotional hurt, “I am great”. Sometimes I think this is more of an effort to convince myself and be certain that I am not manifesting my hurt into reality. Honestly sharing can be tricky to navigate, not too much detail to the client you see in isle 9 at the grocery store but giving yourself permission to be wholeheartedly honest with a trusted friend is important. I now have ‘dates’ on my calendar to spend time with these dear souls that tolerate all of me.
- Saying yes when I really mean no. I like to be helpful and it feels good to be ‘needed’. My desire to be of service is certainly driven by the gratitude I have for the help I receive. What if nobody had helped me when I needed it most? The guilt of a no for me can be intense. I am coming to terms with the importance of boundaries that allow time and space for my self-care. I want my yeses to be wholehearted not half-assed attempts to squelch my guilt. While no may not yet feel warm and fuzzy, it does feel good to find the edge of healthy boundaries.
- Rescuing those that don’t want to be rescued. I think I might have missed my calling to be a first responder. The impulse to rescue every soul from a potentially ‘dangerous’ situation is strong. As someone who has longed for the rescue team to show up and pull me from the inferno of the emotional mayhem I set fire to; I know that only I can extinguish the flames. I am working to cope with my propensity to focus on saving others when my own house is fully engulfed.
- Shame stuffing. We have all experienced shame or embarrassment of our past or current situation. Airing our dirty laundry in public is a metaphor that perpetuates that stuffing of shame and stymies the healing process. Own your choices; admit that you now see there was other ways that only hind-sight could offer. Remove the boulder of guilt from your shameful backpack, place it on the ground before you and stand firmly on that boulder as you move forward. It is all about growing and moving on.
- Pursuit of more. Just one more training class or technique or tool and then I will be good enough to help others heal. One more certificate hanging on the wall and then they will believe that I am the right healing facilitator for them. Can you guess where I am going with this? YOU ARE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW – PERIOD! I trust The Universe will connect me with the people, circumstances and skills needed to be of service. I am not saying that you should stop learning and exploring, ever. What I am saying is stop using this as an excuse – get out there and get started, right now with the skills you have. Note: You must comply with required certifications and licenses in your area.
I have so much work to do to heal my own habits. There are many more than these seven but I chose to start here.
What habits do you have that you would like to modify?
How do you know where to start?
Start where you are, use what you have and go forward from there.
Blessings for all the very best!