Found – Wondering Between the Bar Room and the Mountain Top

Found – Wondering Between the Bar Room and the Mountain Top

This week I found myself wondering, moving from place to place, however it was different this time. It was as if I was outside looking in, like the shadow staring back at the object that created it. I could see the light shining but not quite sure of its source nor what stood between me and it.

It was like I was in the state between sleep and wake but I was alert with my eyes focused inward, yet there was a euphoric sense.

skydivingI think I must have been channeling my inner Punxsutawney Phil as I explored the space between the physical body, the shadow and the light source. And just for the record, I predict that spring will arrive when Old Man Winter and Mother Nature finish their dance.

What the heck was going on?

Fortunately I was in a place that allowed me to safely embrace this experience. I was not really sure how much earthly time passed, but it felt like a leisurely review of my current life’s journey.

My mind transported me back to a time when the shadow wondered undetected through many dark corridors and alleys. Choices that I would change if I had to do it again – it was as if the mountain top blocked the light.

The recollection of the desperate feelings of despair crashed over me, as if I were right back in those moments. It was like a purgatoristic multi-media hodge-podge of Groundhog Day and A Christmas Carol.

Over and over I reviewed scenes from bar rooms, auto accidents, unhealthy relationships, and most of all self-deprivation. Repeatedly the shadow watched, while hidden in the blackness as the source was shut down, turned away and scorned.

Not by others, but by the very source of the shadow itself.

There I stood, bearing witness to the repeated refusals to allow the light to shine, again and again and again. As the journey continued, there was a gentle breeze and a few rays of light as the source was keeping pace with the shadow. Both were barely visible. Even the shadow could feel the warmth of the light.

Then, as if on Aladdin’s magic carpet, the view changed from the dense earth plane to hovering at tree top levels. This vantage point allowed the red tail hawk energy to move the carpet forward.

With all the grace of a five year old driving a stick shift truck for the first time, I lunged forward. This segment offered recall of events that, at first, seemed to be somewhat mundane. Things like family gatherings, writing basic programs in COBOL while swapping floppies in a Tandy TRS-80, and moving back to PA after a brief stay in Maryland.

All things that had an ‘ehh’ feel; not terrible, but certainly not classified as whoo hoo either.

Then, like the turbo charger had been engaged, the shadow and its source shot upward to gain a perspective above the mountain tops. Looking out into the vastness of the sky, a profound sense of being – expansively ensued.

The sense of being a shadow or source was gone. I had become the light. Like those little specs of dust that you can find in the later afternoon haze of a summer day.

I was everywhere, yet nowhere at all.

The only other time I can remember a feeling like this was during the free-fall of skydives.  The powerful sense of being closer to the light was astounding. With every sense of my being, I felt alive. The movement created a delightful push of the skin on my face while moving about without the limitations of the physical body.

I can only assume that this was some level of a satori and that maybe I will, someday, come to know more. Just as quickly as it began, I found myself back on the ground with the shadow, the source and the light. The session was over, at least for that day.

Where was I?

This all happened while the physical body was lying comfortably on a massage table, with a Reiki Master facilitating a healing session for me. Yep, this type of journey can happen during a Reiki session. While this is a recollection of a significantly memorable session, often times sessions leave me with a sense of relaxation that ripple out into the rest of my week.

Are you looking for a way to relax and reduce your stress – even for just an hour?

Reiki is a simple, yet profound opportunity to experience relaxation. To learn more, check out the Inspired Holistic Wellness website and if you are still curious if Reiki is right for you, book a complimentary 15 minute consultation with me and let’s talk about it!!

Blessings for all the very best.


  • nancy Noll
    Posted at 08:44h, 20 February Reply

    Damn! I wish I could write like you.
    I wonder how many of your readers can relate to “writing basic programs in COBOL while swapping floppies in a Tandy TRS-80”. You must have been 12 years old!

    • Beth Whitman
      Posted at 09:07h, 20 February Reply

      Thanks Nancy..I was a few years beyond 12 when I met COBOL and Tandy. The deafening hum of the green bar paper filling with code was music to our ears.

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