I have been suffering from a chronic condition I call velleititis. The symptoms have a slow, creeping pace frustratedand have the potential to weaken the structural integrity.

Much like the vines that take over an abandoned building, velleititis eventually causes an implosion of the very thing that once supported its growth.

The root of the coined phrase suggests that this condition is unstable.

Velleity is defined as a mere wish that is void of effort to obtain IT. How many of you have made a wish as you blew out the birthday candles or prayed that something would come to be?

The acts of injustice and senseless cruelty happen everyday.

The graphic images and voices of despair and outrage enter our homes and seep into our very being as we watch the eye witness accounts on our smartphones. Listening to the ‘news’ for five minutes can easily leave you feeling hopeless, victimized and fearful.

Some media outlets offer a story or two of a rescued kitty or kind deed but it never seems to balance out the violence. It is very easy to hitch your caboose to the doomsday train departing from this fearful station. The conductors shout instructions as the train lurches forward – all aboard, our next stop…hell.

What is this world coming to?

I just want the world to be a better place.

I pray for peace, hope for compassion and plead for understanding. For me ‘better’ means that all bellies are full, that everyone has a safe place to sleep and we can all be loved for who we really are.

If we are all one and any one of us is hungry, scared or fearful, then we are all hungry, scared and fearful. Only when we operate from a place of love and empathy can the train be rerouted to the peace station.

As I began to examine the symptoms of velleititis I brought my focus inward.

Here is my self-evaluation check list:

  • Verbal Communication – Do I speak of hope and empathy?
    • I hope that you receive that big promotion.
    • I can understand how you would be upset, that must be very frustrating?
    • While I don’t share that point of view, I am still your friend and we don’t need to agree on everything.
  • Boundaries – Have I taught you how you may treat me and others while in my presences?
    • Do I let others know that it is unacceptable to speak poorly of those not present during the conversation?
    • Is it clear to others that I am worthy of the same respect, even when I am not present?
    • Do I release negative people and situations from my life?
  • Thoughts – What internal dialog is streaming in my head?
    • Am I broadcasting a live stream of love or am I feeding the fear?
    • What I think I become. Others feel what I am thinking, my body language says more than my words could ever convey.
    • Do I give myself the same love and respect I do for others?
  • Actions – Am I willing to implement a plan to make the world a better place?
    • Small actions like signing a petition, redirecting a wayward gossip session and smiling at a stranger all add up.
    • Do I have control of my social media feeds – unfollow those that post spiteful messages and post my own words of encouragement.
    • Extend an invitation for a cup of tea or a walk in the park to someone outside of my typical circle of friends.
    • Have I offered a hug today? A healing hug for at least six seconds?

If you are like me, I was doing pretty well until I got to the last section. I was keeping a watchful eye on the thoughts, communication and boundaries but when it came to action, was I really walking the walk?

When I realized that velleititis had creeped over my moral structure I was frustrated.

In the 70’s The Hues Corporation sang “Rock the Boat”. The lyrics include … “I’d like to know where, you got the notion, To rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby, Rock the boat, don’t tip the boat over, Rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby, Rock the boat.”

Go ahead, sign the rest of the song (or search YouTube to hear it for the first time); I will wait for you…

We get and send confusing information everywhere we turn… let your voice be heard, but not too loudly or you will be classified an outlier.

Establish boundaries and say no, but don’t push too hard.

How are we supposed to know when to stand up or remain seated? When is enough, enough?

We could spend our entire lives fighting against these inequities or jump on our unicorn and get the heck out of Dodge. But there has to be balance, right? How can my unicorn and me make a stand for love?

  • I can be me, real, vulnerable and authentic.
  • I can be the kindness that I want more of in the world, even when I know it might sting.
  • I can sit with a friend while they share their hurt and listen, just listen.
  • I can say I don’t know how this all works out but I am here with you.
  • I can ask for and accept help.
  • I can fail.
  • I can make choices that could have been better.
  • I can be angry, cry and ride my unicorn.
  • I can laugh, love and offer heartfelt honesty, and ride my unicorn again.
  • We can argue and still love each other…this is what life looks like.

Do you have a case of velleititis too? Lean in and explore – can you take one small step today?

Reach out to one person, ask for help or share a smile with stranger.

If you feel stuck and are ready to make changes in your life but are not quite sure how to begin, let’s chat. Reiki and hypnosis are great tools to help you release the velleititis that may have creeped into your life.