As defined in dictionary.com…
Forgive – To cease to feel resentment
‘Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.’
Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
So, you have been wronged by someone.
They did or said something that was unkind, insensitive or even reprehensible. They should come crawling back to you begging for your pardon and pleading for your mercy from eternal damnation. At a minimum they should call or write a letter saying how horribly wrong they were. Then maybe, just maybe, you will deem them worthy of your forgiveness – or not.
Sometimes in life, when there is a disagreement, it can be immediately resolved when both parties are willing to be accountable for their part. But often you are permitted to carry the heavy, burdensome energy of unforgiveness until you decide to put it down.
Image for a moment that each time you were “wronged” and did not receive a proper apology; you are adding another rock in your karmic backpack.
Every time someone cuts you off in traffic, you were passed over for a promotion or your child screams “I hate you”, you add another rock to this bag that you carry with you every day. At some point, depending on your strength and endurance; you will no longer be able to move forward.
Forgiveness is NOT about the transgressor.
It is about YOU!
Forgiving does NOT mean that you agree with the situation or that you condone their actions. Forgiveness is the gift that you choose to offer yourself. Each time you are able to release an event or situation; you remove a rock from your bag. Imagine that these rocks are placed before you and they create a pathway for your soul’s journey to move forward. The backpack becomes lighter, as the events carry less weight for you so you can move forward.
Remember that self-forgiveness is crucial to your well-being.
Practice self-compassion each day as you acknowledge that you did the very best you could at the time of the situation.
The unforgiven circumstances are weighing you down. They are slowing your progress and making life more difficult than necessary.
How much control will you allow them to have? One rock at time placed in front of you to build your path.
Next week we will explore the Forget part.
Blessings for all the very best!