The game of Hide and Seek can be a lot of fun, especially outdoors at night when it morphs into Flash Light Tag.
However, when it comes to miracles, I am tired of looking behind every door and under every shrub. This is not some Easter egg hunt. I don’t want to search for my prize, just put it in my basked already.
But when it feels like the universe is playing these games with my blessings – it sucks.
I try to be humble, patient, compassionate, and offer love to others even when I think I have nothing left to give. So, where is my share of the pot of gold?
I am not asking for a million dollars, although I would not turn it down.
I am not asking for a big house or fancy car. I just want to be happy, healthy and real.
I want to be of service but I also want my needs and desires to be fulfilled. I want to pay my bills on time, honor my promises as best I can and plan for the future while attempting to be in the present.
But I feel like I am getting nowhere.
I want to learn and grow, to bask in the flow. But I have earthly desires that go unmet, just like everyone else.
I donate to those that have an empty pantry. I am frugal and simple in my approach to life as I humbly place my needs last. So, why do I feel like my share of the abundance of life is being hidden from me?
Could it be that my eyes do not see what is right in front of me?
Where does this begrudging sense of lack originate from? I sit with my heart open wide and my hands out stretched and nothing comes. I pray and no answers are received…Nothing, nada, zip, zero, silence.
My thoughts go in all directions.
I should not despair.
I must be grateful or what I do have will be taken from me.
I have all that I need, be grateful.
Stop whining and suck it up.
Are we really entitled to only having our very basic needs met? Where does this feeling of deprivation and lack begin? Why do I allow this feeling take up so much time and space in my life?
I think it begins with the very definition of humble.
In the dictionary it is defined as: modest, respectful, inferior, subservient, small in size. Now let’s throw in my religiously inspired confusion around humility: avoid taking credit while praising others, put others first and yourself last, pray for others to be healed and blessed but never pray for yourself – all are required to get into heaven.
Then there is what life has taught me – society defines a humble soul as someone that lives simply (poor), is meek and mild, and never shares their dreams out loud. And if that is not enough, let’s talk about the economic fear mongering of lack and greed, money is evil – those damn one percenters.
I definitely want to get into heaven and I do take care to pray for others and praise their successes.
I don’t want to be greedy but how does turning my back to my share of abundance, blessings and miracles serve the highest good? How can a humble servant of God follow their passion and serve as directed yet remain humble?
I don’t have the answer to these questions but I am willing to walk the unpaved path and boldly call out “Ollie Ollie In Come Free” to the blessings that are waiting for me.
I am willing to consider the fact that my mucky beliefs and outdated memes are all that is holding me back. I am quite capable of being responsible with money and I strive to release the stigma that it will only bring arrogance, greed and destruction into my life.
The funk of frustration can only be changed when I change my attitude.
Are you being offered an opportunity to examine the reality of your funk?
What blessings are you refusing to allow? Do you dare to shout “Ollie Ollie In Come Free”?
Blessings for all the very best!