When I began developing my holistic healing practice, I was fascinated with all the possibilities. I could help everyone with anything – elderly with ailments, sports performance for the youth, animals with anxiety, even plants that were neglected.
I was going to save the world, one soul at a time – just let me at ‘em.
Excited supporters suggested all sorts of wonderful things: training in Sedona, different energy healing techniques, books to read and spiritual speakers to follow. Each with such enthusiasm and vigor; I would spend hours researching, reading reviews, watching YouTube clips and ordering books. Searching and obtaining the resources that would be needed to take on the world.
Then came the emails, mailings and phone calls.
All these gurus that were certain I would be taken to the next level with their wares.
For just $1995, you too can be an international sensation by June; just follow these simple steps – which all started with a phone call or on-line registration to provide my credit card information. With my intuition on high alert and my income now unpredictable; these opportunities were the easiest to avoid.
At the beginning the details of accounting, marketing, taxes and legal consumed every waking hour. I began to wonder if I had really escaped the bureaucracy of the corporate world or if I jumped right from the frying pan to fire.
Every decision had to be made by me now.
I was responsible, no matter the outcome. I soon realized how out of balance my dreams and reality really were. Thanks to many years in the electronics supply chain management machine; I was capable of doing most of these tasks. However, complete competency, efficiency nor grace was present, but with brute force – it got done.
The time soon arrived to turn my focus to the dream at hand. I must get more training, I must have more skills.
My non-corporate resume was brief and simple; Reiki Master Teacher and a consulting hypnotist. That was all I had to offer the world. How was that going to be enough? Who would ever ‘hire’ me to save their soul?
What was I thinking when I set out on this journey?
So off I went, to improve my resume. Chasing, searching, and scouring for that ‘thing’ that would make me unique. I talked with others in the respective fields, all encouraging me. We shared openly during training sessions; shared a few tears and some laughs too.
A certificate was my reward for a weekend perched in a backjack. My resume grew and so did my confidence. I proudly displayed each new achievement in my healing room – reassuring all that entered that I was more qualified than before.
My wall now filled with framed proof that I was qualified, I wondered – were they really necessary?
Had I really grown or were the classes all about me discovering that I was always good enough?
Did I chase the opportunities to confirm for me or my clients?
Yes, they were – every single one of them!
Chasing your dreams is an excellent way to reach the point of exhaustion; which is exactly where I found the confidence to be JUST ME.
I like to be certain that I have not missed a thing. Perpetual expansion of my awakening is what was achieved by pursuing all these opportunities.
From across the room, when I look at the framed proof – I now see my stepping stones to authenticity.
Along the way to re-discovering the ‘real’ me; I tried on many hats and was able to awaken the authentic me from a deep slumber. Some of these experiences could be labeled as good or bad, success or failure. However, my belief is that they were all gifts; each one moving me closer and closer to be being fully awakened.
The true gift is that I continue to develop my discernment skills and am better equipped to say no.
Explanations are not required when I say no thank you. When something is a yes, it is a soulful yes. For me, when something is ‘right’ it happens quickly and easily – almost as if I am a witness to the manifestations of the Universe.
When things are extremely challenging, like trying to push a cooked noodle up hill in molasses in January on the East Coast – it is not right.
This does not mean that I don’t still try or that I turn away from things that are challenging. What is does mean is that I am aware while pushing that noodle that I have the option to stop. When I do say no, I move on, no second guessing, no guilt, no shame, no judgment.
So, keep trying on those hats and observe.
What is your experience like when you make choices? Do you get a feeling in the pit of your stomach or butterflies? Which hats bring you joy?
Dare to awaken your soul’s calling.
It does not mean that you quit your job or run off with the circus. There are many ways to serve your higher self while remaining where you are.
Embrace your journey and allow it unfold before you without comparison to others.
Blessings for all the very best!