Have you ever had one of those moments when your mouth is moving and words are coming out but you have no idea who is speaking (or shouting)? I have had more than I care to admit and they are usually in the heat of the moment. This typically happens when I react to a situation rather than allowing light and love to surround the event.
I find there is a direct correlation between the intensity of my verbal reaction and my stress level.
The buffer that is usually present vanishes in an instant, poof – gone!
There I am, in all my glory; grumbling about dirty dishes or the schedule being rearranged at the last minute. Sometimes I am aware that I am about to explode and rather than verbalize it; I protest with the overly loud clearing of the mess.
These reactions are very instinctive and primal.
No reasoning is possible until the release is complete. Even if I want to stop, I am not sure I could. It is like being sucked into a tornado – eventually my pummeled spirit is ejected from the vortex – battered and exhausted.
When the dust settles and I regain my composure; the damage assessment begins.
As I survey the situation and my reaction, I find that I don’t recognize the voice that came from me.
By my very nature, I strongly desire and strive for a harmonious existence. How is it that someone with a Reiki Master Teacher certificate hanging on her office wall could spew such discontent? Why is it that I unleash such frustration in the presence of my family, the ones I love so deeply?
What I discovered, as I make my way through this earthly adventure, is that my ego has many layers and my journey has many teachers. The words and actions I release when frustrated and exhausted are not centered in love. They are my ego speaking loud and clear!
It kinda feels like my higher self has gone on vacation and left the ego in charge.
The reaction is never just about the current situation. It is about all the times I had to clean up or the decades spent putting my needs last.
That’s great insight – so now what?
I understand why I had the reaction but how can I process the guilt, shame and embarrassment of being so human?
My approach is to find a quiet space – usually not a difficult task since I have chased everyone away with my tantrum. Offer a self-guided Reiki healing session and then allow a hypnotic state to begin. Repeating the mantra, “forgive, release, learn and love”, I will stay with this until my higher-self has returned from its holiday. Then, with a heart full of love, I extend an invitation to the others that were impacted; using the same theme – forgive, release, learn and love. I listen with an open mind and quiet voice to welcome their teachings and offer my apology.
Self-forgiveness is where it must start.
If I am able to forgive and release the bits of my being that found the situation intolerable, then the learning and love may follow. When I first began this approach, forgiveness was the last word. This was a stumbling block for me. I was not able to love, learn or release until I invited in forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness is a tough lesson for me.
However, when I finally realized that my higher-self was confined by my unwillingness to forgive me, I knew it was time for a change.
With the help of the techniques and teachings I had the great fortune to explore; I am now able to recognize my true voice. It does not mean that my ego is mute. Instead, this approach enhances my awareness and provides an opportunity to heal rather than continue the pattern of pain.
Give it a try the next time you find yourself in an intense situation.
Start with three deep, intentional breaths and repeat the mental mantra of “forgive, release, learn, love” until you are able to observe yourself in a calm state.
Let me know how it works for you. Are you able to recognize your soul’s voice?
Blessings for all the very best!